Here is another guest post from She/Folk for you all! This one is a beautiful story written for us by Nico Mazza, co-founder and art director of this fantastic women empowering collective that is guest blogging for Bird Trouble this month. This story is one that can relate to a lot of the women who read my blog, and one that reminds us how important, beautiful, and inspiring it is to learn from the female friendships in our lives. – – xx Alexz
I live in palace of women. a commune of sorts.
we are artists, writers, dancers, thinkers, musicians, planners, makers.
There is always a noise coming from the other side of the bedroom door, a smell emanating from the kitchen, or a babbles of conversation coursing through the halls. When you live with four other people their is always some element of chaos. The best kind of chaos. There are five voices bouncing off of each other constantly, five different perspectives floating around, and five energies pulsing through any given room.
Though I’ve had female relationships before it hasn’t been until the last two years that I have fully realized the importance of female friendship. Its the first time where a male relationship, or a romantic relationship hasn’t been the focus of my energy. Thats not to say that I don’t have men in my life or that I feel that relationships with men cant be equally as fulfilling; but this just so happens to be the state of my life right now. These are the people I share my life with day by day, and the ones who know the ins and outs of my mind.
I have found such ease in my state of being around these women and am constantly learning about myself as both a woman and a human. Having found a home in people that identify with me not only because of our similarities, but because of our dissimilarities, there is a constant feeling of acceptance and discovery.
Last night I was talking to my friend about the concept of unconditional love. We talked about lovers and friends and the expectations we put on one versus the other; how we expect unconditional love from a lover but it never actually ends up that way, but a friendship knows no bounds.
“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”
Can you always say this about your lover? Probably not. A friend. Yes.
I do believe there are limits to love and that boundaries can be pushed to a point of conflict. But love is fluid and the definition changes over time with different people. I don’t think you can take love back. With that said, I feel this unconditional love with the female relationships I have forged and for me, blood is by no means thicker than water.
I try to look at my interactions with people equally but my relationships with women are inherently different. I find that there is a tenderness, openess and regard for the emotional that I don’t get from everyone.